


Undercover Newlyweds

by MaeveBran



Series: Undercover Newlyweds [1]
Category: Captain America (2011), The Avengers (2012)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-25
Updated: 2012-06-28
Packaged: 2017-11-04 06:53:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/391005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaeveBran/pseuds/MaeveBran
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A month after defrosting a bored Steve Rogers gets a assignmmnet - to go undercover as newlyweds with Natasha Romanov and retrieve a Hydra Scientist.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Falling Into Bed (and Other Places)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/294377) by [lucdarling](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucdarling/pseuds/lucdarling). 



> Thanks to lucdarling for letting me run with the idea presented in a chapter of their work.

Captain Steven G. Rogers pummeled a heavy bag in the old fashioned gym. He had been out of the ice for just over a month now. He was anxious to get out of the headquarters but no one was ready to trust him in the twenty-first century.

“Captain Rogers,” Agent Phil Coulson said as he and Agent Natasha Romanov walked into the gym. “Do you have a moment?”

Steve stepped back and started unwrapping his hands. “If you have something for me to do, then I have more than a moment, Agent Coulson.”

“Have you met Agent Romanov?” Coulson asked.

“No,” Steve said as he turned to the female agent. “Steve Rogers.”

Natasha took his extended hand and shook it. “Natasha Romanov, Captain.”

“Good now that the pleasantries are out of the way, can we get down to business?” Coulson asked.

“Certainly, Sir.” Steve said as he put his wrappings away in his gym bag.

“We have a situation developing in Munich,” Coulson stated. “We have information that a scientist with the newly restarted Hydra wants to come over to our side. We need a couple agents to go make contact and bring him in.”

“I can do that by myself,” Natasha said. “I’ve done it before.”

“Unfortunately the only way to make sure you don’t stand out, is your cover as newlyweds,” Coulson said. “The hotel where the scientist said to make contact is under this new Hydra’s control so it is entirely possible that the place will be bugged to hell and gone…”

“I understand,” Natasha said. She had done that kind of cover in similar situations with other agents in the past, most notably with Agent Barton, so she had little problem with the idea. She sized up the Captain. No it wouldn’t be hard to pretend to be his new wife at all.

“Whatever the mission takes,” Steve said. “When do we leave?”

“Tomorrow morning,” Coulson said. He handed over a file to Steve. “Here is the information we have, along the information on your cover.”

Coulson nodded to Natasha and left the gym. 

“So, do you have any experience under cover?” Natasha asked.

“Not really,” Steve said. “By the time I was allowed to join the war I was too famous from the posters, films, and USO shows to allow for much disguises. But I do have some experience acting since they did make me make films.”

“I hate to ask this, Captain,” Natasha started.

“Please call me Steve,” he unleashed his best smile at her. “Particularly since we’re playing newlyweds.”

“Steve, then, tell me did any of your films have love scenes?” Natasha asked. That smile was definitely going to make this assignment both easier and harder. 

“No. They were all war movies,” Steve said. “Why?”

“Because playing the parts will involve more than holding hands and calling each other cute pet names,” Natasha explained.

Steve thought this over. Was he going to be able to do what she was implying? Would he be able to put away the idea of the right partner and do what the mission needed? If Natasha’s life was on the line, then yes he would. She would be his partner and he’d do what she needed him to do to keep her safe and complete the mission. But he had to tell her that while he might be willing he wasn’t sure what he might be promising to do.

“Uh, Agent Romanov,” Steve started, shyly. She looked up at him. “There is something you should know…”

“Yes, Captain?” she asked, knowing without knowing how she knew that she wasn’t going to like what he had to say.

“The truth is…” Steve blushed. He cleared his throat. “If it comes to the, uh, more intimate imitations of being newlyweds… I …uh… have no expierence. With the exception of two kisses and even then the women kissed me.”

Natasha watched the blush deepen. It was very cute. A man that manly shouldn’t look that cute when he blushed but somehow the good Captain managed it. “Don’t worry. If it comes to that I’ll show you what to do. Hopefully it won’t come to that, but it is always better to be prepared for any eventuality.’

“Uh. Right,” Steve said. He picked up his gym bag and the file. “Should we go somewhere to review the details?”

“Sure,” Natasha answered.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning, Steve and Natasha, with shiny new wedding bands on their fingers, boarded a plane for Germany.

“Tell me again why did we choose Munich for our honeymoon?” Natasha asked, to confirm their story.

“Because you’re a travel blogger and I’m a World War II historian. We thought it would be fun to combine work with pleasure,” Steve answered. “Is it wrong that I find my cover occupation funny?”

“No,” Natasha said. “Coulson and I thought it would make sense since we were going to be back in territory you been in before.”

“That makes sense. Thank you,” Steve said.

They arrived in Munich that night. They checked into their hotel and Natasha swept the room with her watch and motioned to Steve to stay silent.

“It’s still early,” Natasha said. “How abut we go in search of one of the beer gardens that Bavaria is known for?”

“Sounds like a plan if I can get some bratwurst and sauerkraut with it,” Steve said, following Natasha’s lead.

They walked, arm in arm, in a fair imitation of tourist couple, to the main square of the city. They found one of the tables at an outdoor beer garden.

“So tell me why we suddenly went for beer and food?” Steve asked once the bar maid had taken their order. “Not that I mind food. I could eat and it has been a long time since…”

“The room is bugged, like we feared,” Natasha said. “I couldn’t tell if it is just audio or video as well.”

“We planned for that,” Steve said. “Right?”

Natasha puts her hand on the table and wagged her fingers at Steve. He took the hint and grabbed her hand. “We did. I was just sort of hoping we might be able to not use that plan.”

The beer and food was delivered then, interrupting their conversation. Natasha was slightly surprised to see the amount of food Steve had ordered, she hadn’t known when he ordered since he had done so in German- to the surprise of the bar maid. It was enough food for at least three people. Two different types of bratwurst, red cabbage, sauerkraut, a plate of bread cubes and a large bowl of cheese fondue all were placed before Steve. 

“I hope I get some of that,” Natasha said.

Steve pushed a plate of bratwurst towards her. “Help yourself. I did order enough for you too.”

“I’ve read your file but to see the four times faster metabolism in action…” she said as she bit into the sausage.

“Yeah, it took some getting used to,” Steve said as he dipped a cube of bread into the cheese. He ate it and smiled. It was a haunted smile like he was remembering something from the long past.

“Something funny about fondue?” she asked as she dipped a cube into the cheese as well.

“Yeah,” he answered. “Howard made a joke about it when he and Peggy flew me out of Italy to rescue Bucky. Then I mentioned it to Peggy when she was already upset with me.” Steve smiled slightly. “That was the day I got the shield.” He ate some more bread and cheese. “She picked up a gun and shot at the shield while I was holding it.” He smiled again. “She was quite the woman.”

“I’ve read stories,” Natasha said. That got his attention. “Agent Carter, Howard Stark, and Colonel Fury started S.H.I.E.L.D. There are stories and legends about them around headquarters.”

“I’m not surprised,” Steve said as he turned his attention to his food in earnest.

A couple hours later, the food had been consumed and they each had several steins of beer. Steve was as sober as he had been when he had sat down but Natasha was just barely beginning to seem a bit tipsy.

“Come on, Mrs. Rogers, time to get back to the hotel,” Steve said as he paid the tab. Natasha giggled.

“Sounds like a fine idea, Mr. Rogers,” she giggled. 

Steve slung an arm around her and helped her back to the hotel. She exaggerated her drunkenness and Steve helped that impression along. When they got to their room, Steve unlocked the door and carried her in. He set her on her feet beside the bed.

“I think I must have drunk more than I thought,” she said as she gathered up her nightgown and went into the bathroom.

Steve took the opportunity to change out of his button-up shirt and slacks and into lounge pants and tee shirt. He wasn’t sure exactly how they were going to handle the sleeping arrangements but he figured it was better to be overdressed than underdressed.

She came out of the bathroom in a long gray satin nightgown. She took in Steve and his choice of night wear and was glad he had covered up so much. If he hadn’t she probably wouldn’t be able to be so noble tonight. She slid into bed.  
“I think the beer and the flight caught up to me,” she said as he turned out the lights and slid in bed next to her. “Would you mind terribly if we didn’t make love tonight?”

He tried to read her face but there was too little light, even for his super soldier enhance eyesight to see. “Of course not, we have the rest of our lives for that.”

He settled on his back and she curled up to him. He wrapped his arms around her.

“Thanks for playing along,” she whispered in his ear.

He turned his head and whispered back, “No problem.”

They settled down. Natasha snuggled into him, just in case it was a video bug too, she told herself, not because he was warm and comfortably male and it had been sometime since she’d slept with anyone let alone someone she knew would be able to protect her if it came to that. It was strange to realize that she trusted Steve so much, but then again she had read his file. He was the strongest man she knew and had reflexes of a cat. 

Steve just lay there, not really sleeping. He had never been this close to a woman before let alone slept with one. Not only that, the woman he’s sleeping with was one who probably could figure out a few inventive ways to kill him super soldier or not. He knew he should be quaking in his boots but somehow the sight of the Black Widow curled up on his chest had him feeling protective. He wrapped his arms around her and slowed his breathing to try to force sleep. It worked and he feel into a dreamless sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning, Natasha was already dressed when Steve woke up. She actually had waved a cup of coffee from the room service tray under his nose to wake him.

“Wakey, Wakey,” she called in a way too cheerful voice.

He sat up and took the coffee from her. He drained it half down before he said anything.

“Are you always this cheerful in the mornings,” he asked as he sat up more and she put the tray of food on the bed between them. “Or did I just get lucky this morning?”

“I’m not usually cheerful, but I do like mornings,” she answered. “Besides, we really slept in. It is already 9:30 AM local time. I want to see the glockenspiel when it does its show at 11 so we need to get going.”

“I remember that,” Steve said as he dived into the giant plate of eggs and bacon she had ordered for him. “It is a sight to see.”

Forty—five minutes later, they were strolling down the Marienplatz to find a good viewing space in the crowded square. The glockenspiel had just started its show when someone bumped into them and slipped Natasha a note. They waited the full fifteen minutes of the show and then wandered the streets filled with shops that lead away from the square. They had left the crowd behind and Natasha took out the note and read it.

“It is from the scientist. He warns that our cover is weak but may hold until we can meet face to face tomorrow morning,” she said.

“Where and when?” Steve asked.

“He wants to meet at the chapel at Dachau,” Natasha said. “That isn’t ominous at all.”

“It’s still around?” Steve asked.

“Only as a memorial to what happened,” she answered. She looked at him and noted the slight panic in his face. “Were you there?”

“We had information that Dr. Zola had been conducting experiments there so we went in with the 42 and 45th infantry when they liberated the camp,” Steve said. He tried to hold back a shudder but didn’t manage. “I hadn’t truly hated Nazis, until I saw that camp. We weren’t there long as we picked up information that Zola had boarded a train and was speeding away. But even a few hours there was enough.”

“What happened then?” she asked.

“We attacked the train. Bucky fell,” Steve said tersely. “A day and a half later, I was on the Valkyrie crashing into the Arctic and dying.”

Natasha didn’t know what to say to that. She had some bad missions in her past. Ones that haunted her nightmares. Ones that she tried very hard not to remember, and when she did to drown with vodka. Steve had told her last night that vodka wouldn’t help, so she didn’t know what to do.

“But enough of my bad war memories,” Steve said trying to shake himself out of it. “How about some lunch?”

“Lunch? We just ate breakfast two hours ago,” she laughed.

“Super metabolism, what can I say,” Steve said shyly.

They found a small local restaurant and had an early lunch. They talked about how the city had changed from when Steve had been here before. Natasha shared stories about working with Coulson.

When they returned to the hotel, Natasha pulled out her laptop and updated the blog that was her cover. Before they left New York, Natasha had explained that the blog entry would be a coded message to Coulson on their status and progress. Steve was still impressed with the way messages went instantaneously around the world over the internet but not entirely surprised since he had seen the telegraph work across oceans. The internet seemed like a couple steps beyond that but a logical progression. Within minutes of the blog update a reply from a Phil C. was posted. From the code Natasha had shown him, Steve made out that their orders were to reinforce their cover and make the meeting tomorrow.

Natasha must have made the same interpretation of their orders because she shut down the computer and walked over to Steve, where he sat in one of the wingback chairs. She bent down and kissed him. Steve looked at her, momentarily confused before he wrapped his arms around her and kissed back. She ran her hands up his chest and unbuttoned his shirt to slide her hands against his rather impressive chest. This wasn’t going to be the worst assignment Natasha ever had. She pulled him up to stand with her.

“Come on, Captain,” She whispered in his ear. “You can do this.”

Steve nodded and pushed his hands up under her shirt. He ran his hands up her back. He wasn’t very skilled but rather enthusiastic. He seemed anxious to make sure that she enjoyed it as much as he did. She thought that was rather sweet. Most of the time when she did this on missions, Natasha just hoped that the guy was skilled enough for it not to hurt but this was different. Steve was going for it like it was real. She did feel somewhat guilty that his first time was going to be in a room full of bugs so that they could keep their cover intact long enough to get their job done. But then again they each had to make sacrifices for their country and he was the poster boy for patriotic duty.

She broke the kiss and stepped back. She looked him straight in the eye and smiled a dirty little smile as she whipped her top and bra off. He took in the sight of her more than ample bosoms. She smiled again at his focus.

“See something you like, Steve?” she teased as she stepped back towards him and brushed her chest against his.

“Definitely, Natalie, he said as he reached his hands around her back. That was nice, she thought. His large calloused, form wielding the shield, hands warm against her exposed flesh. She leaned up and kissed him as her hands went for the belt and fasteners on his pants. She had them undone before he really noticed what she was doing. Then she worked a hand through his boxers and stroked his half hard length to full arousal. He moaned a little against her lips when her hand met his sensitive flesh. She kept ahold of him as she slipped her mouth from his.

She kissed his cheek and nibbled his ear before she whispered, “You’re doing great, Captain.”

He buried his head in her neck and nibbled there before he whispered back. “Thanks, but I don’t . . .”

“Don’t worry,” she whispered in his other ear. “I do. Just relax and let me do the work.”

He nodded and she shoved his pants and boxers down. He sat on the edge of the bed and removed them and his shoes and socks. Natasha watched in fascination. He really was a sight to behold. His file wasn’t lying when it called him the peak of human perfection. Once he was gloriously naked, Natasha remembered what she was about and shucked out of the rest of her own clothes. She sauntered over to him and climbed across his lap. She ground her hips against his as she kissed him again. He let out a gasp of surprise at the sensation of her parts meeting his.

“Like that do you?” she asked against his lips. He nodded. “It gets better.” She did it again, this time letting him slide into her. He was big and hit all the right spots as she rocked against him. She could hear his breath hitch in surprise. He was having a hard time figuring where his hands went so she placed them on her ass. He leans up and kisses her sloppily and she uses the new angle to her advantage and comes close to falling over the edge. He tightens his grip on her ass and that was all she needed to tumble over into oblivion. With a loud groan, he follows her into the state of sated bliss.

After a few minutes when breathing has returned to normal, he crawled under the covers of the bed and pulled her beside him. He settled his arm about her waist.

“Was it good for you?” he asked all earnest concern. She smiled and kissed him instead of laughing at his earnestness. It would never do to deflate the fragile male ego of the man she needed t watch her back.

“It was very good,” she reassured him. Then though it was still early afternoon, they fell asleep for a little nap. Who knew what the rest of the mission might take and they should get their rest while they could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I chose Munich because I had actually been there, many years ago though I still remember enough to figure out what they'd be doing there. The glockenspiel is a real thing and rather impressive.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is no archieve warning for this but I feel it should be mentioned - This chapter (and the next) discusses Dachau and the deeds that went on there. If that is something that bothers you or is triggering then turn back now and I'm sorry for getting you into a story you can't finish reading. For everyone else, thank you for sticking with this.

A few hours later, Steve woke up to find Natasha lying almost completely on top of him. He marveled at what they had done. It had been every bit as good as they guys had told him it would be and more. He both hoped and feared that their cover would require them to do it again. He hoped because he wasn’t sure Natasha would give him the time of day if they weren’t on a mission, but he feared it because while he would do anything for the safety of a mission and his partner, it felt wrong to be doing such things not out of love but out of necessity.

He slid out from under Natasha and took a shower. By the time he returned to the bedroom, Natasha was awake and dressed. He didn’t know what to say or do. Fortunately she did.

“It’s still early and I’m hungry,” She said. “Let’s go find something to eat.”

“I could eat,” Steve agreed. He opened the door and let her lead the way.

They found themselves at the same place as their first evening. The barmaid remembered them and asked if they wanted the same thing as last time. Steve said yes and their beer appeared before them in no time.

“Want to talk about it?” Natasha asked.

“Not really,” Steve answered. He drained half his beer, wishing it would have some effect on him. “ I just sort of feel like I’m back in the tights and on tour selling bonds.”

“You feel like you’re prostituting yourself for the mission,” she asked.

“Sort of,” Steve said. “For myself, I can take it but I don’t feel right about involving you.”

Natasha snorted. She actually snorted at that. “I’m a big girl Steve. I don’t do anything I don’t want to do.”

“But the mission…” Steve started.

“There are other ways,” Natasha said as she took a deep drink of her own beer. “That was the simplest and easiest but if we were both unwilling there are other ways. Do you want to explore them or are we good?”

The bar maid delivered their massive quantity of food and took their glasses to refill them. She joked with Steve in German when she brought back the glasses of beer. Steve laughed and took one of Natasha’s hands in his and brought it to his lips and kissed it. The barmaid laughed and walked away to attend to her other customers.

“We’re good,” Steve said as he let go of Natasha’s hand and dug into the food.

“Good,” Natasha said. “Now about tomorrow…”

 

The next day was gray but not yet raining. Steve thought the weather was appropriate for the setting. In the decades since he was last here, many of the barracks had been taken down and all that was left were the foundations. But Steve remembered what the place had looked like then. The air of unease he had felt then was just as strong, around the former concentration camp, as it had been then.

Steve headed directly towards the chapel. He wanted to get this over with as soon as possible, but Natasha stopped him with a hand on his arm.

“We have some time,” she said. “Remember we’re supposed to be tourists.”

“Let’s get this over with then,” Steve said.

They entered the building serving as a museum. They passed the room full of ribbons from memorial wreaths that had been placed at the camp over the years. Steve noted the one from the SSR was half hidden by the others from various US Army troops.

They then passed into the rooms with the photos and exhibits of what went on during the war. The photos of the camp as the Allied Troops that liberated it disturbed Steve but he had been braced for it. It was, after all, the way he remembered the place. But the thing that sickened him most was the documentation of the experiments that had been conducted on the prisoners. He left the building quickly after seeing those.

Natasha found him, minutes later, leaning against the building. Steve was trying to breathe normally and not get sick.

“You all right?” she asked.

“I will be once we get out of this place,” Steve said.

She checked her watch. “It’s almost time .”

“Good,” Steve said as he led the way across the grounds to the chapel.

Their contact was waiting for them when they entered. Steve took in the man waiting for them. He looked to be about forty and resembled anther scientist Steve had known in his day.

“I’m Abraham Erskine,” he said. Steve started at the name. “I believe you knew my grandfather.”

“I did,” Steve said. “He was a good man.”

“Not that good, as you no doubt discovered,” said the contact. “I don’t have much time. The new Hydra will be here to get me in about twenty minutes and you’ll have to be off the camp grounds by then or they will get you too.”

“So if you’re not coming with us then what are we doing here?” Natasha asked.

“I have Grandfather’s notes on the serum,” Abraham said. “He left a copy at home and I found them amongst my father’s papers last year when he died. There was mention of papers hidden here as well. I retrieved them this morning.” He handed over two thick files. “I would rather the man who was the product of that serum have them then this new Hydra.”

“How did you join them?” Steve asked.

“That’s not important, now,” Abraham said. “What is important is that you two finish looking like tourists and get out of here now.”

Natasha nodded and put the files in her large bag like purse. 

“Your Grandfather would be proud,” Steve said as he shook the other man’s hand.

“Thanks” Abraham said. “Now go.”

Steve and Natasha left the chapel and joined the throng of people going into the building with the camp ovens. They went past those and the gas chambers masquerading as showers as quickly as they could and still look like tourists. They were on the train back to Munich in less than a half hour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been to Dachau but that was 13 years ago so the geography and what is there is kind of sketchy. the things I've mentioned are the things I remember after all these years. If I've gotten things wrong let me knw in the cmments and I'll fix it.


	5. Chapter 5

Once they got back to the hotel they packed for their return flight home. Then at S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters, they debriefed Coulson and handed over the papers. Steve just wanted to put the whole thing behind him so he headed down to the gym to bust another punching bag or two.

Natasha found him there an hour later. She had had an extra debriefing with Director Fury on how Steve did in the field. She walked in to the room silently and watched. She enjoyed the sight of him working out. He really was nice to look at (and she had gotten to take in the whole view). But he worked like a man with a lot of demons to chase away and she knew something about that.

“Something you want to talk about?” Natasha asked as the punching bag broke its chain and went flying across the room. “Something to do with what happened yesterday at the camp? Something you saw in one of the exhibits?”

“Can a man still be good if he participated in something awful?” Steve asked as he picked up a new punching bag and hung it in place.

“I would guess it would depend on his motives for doing the something awful,” Natasha said. “But I don’t know much about being a good person. I just do as ordered and let those giving the orders sort out the right and wrong.”

“He told me that was why I was selected,” Steve said as he punched the bag. “Because I was a good man. He seemed to be one too, but now I wonder.”

“Why?” she asked.

“What I saw,” Steve said giving another savage punch. “Was Dr. Abraham Erskine standing in a lab coat making notes on the suffering of one of the prisoners. The sign by the picture explained what the scientists were doing and Dr. Erskine was one of them.” Steve hit the bag again. “I looked at those papers we brought in.” Punch. “They were notes on the formula and what a human could endure without it. And some notes on early trials conducted at the camp.” He punched with all his might and the bag flew to join the other one. “The formula that did this,” Steve gestured to his muscles as he picked up anther punching bag. “Came from the experiments on people whose only crime was to be born of the wrong ethnicity.” Steve punched the new bag. “Not that it would have been all right to experiment on people who had committed a crime but it seems especially wrong.”

“You didn’t know how the formula was developed, did you?” Natasha asked.

“No,” Steve said. “I knew very little about the formula and what it might do when I was injected with it.”

“So what did it do?” Natasha asked. She had never heard Steve talk  
about it but was curious to hear first hand rather than rely on rumours.

“For one thing it cured my asthma and a host of other weaknesses,” Steve said. “I also went from five foot two and ninety pounds with no muscle to this.” Steve waved a hand to indicate his current condition. “I was finally able to do things like run and still be able to breathe. It also enhanced my sight, hearing, and memory.”

Natasha looked at him, really looked, and all she saw was pain. She knew that this was not the place to have this discussion. “So want to go some where private and talk?”

Steve looked at her and where they were. Anyone could come in at any time and yeah, he didn't want everyone to know about what he had to say. “That might be best.”

She lead him out of the gym and to her apartment, because it was on the 25h floor and his was all the way in Brooklyn.

“I know alcohol doesn't really work for you, but do you want some vodka?” Natasha asked once they entered.

“Yeah. That might help,” Steve said as he looked around. It was decorated in a theme of tan, red and black- tan walls and carpet, black furnishings, and red drapes and pillows. It was strangely fitting for her. She went to a black lacquered cabinet and pulled out a bottle of good vodka and brought it back with her. 

She settled on her black leather couch and gestured for Steve to join her. She unscrewed the cap on the bottle and took a healthy swig and then handed the bottle to Steve. He took a long drink and handed it back.

“So your problem is that you feel guilty for receiving the gifts the serum gave you at the expense of the victims of the research?” Natasha asked.

“That sums it up,” Steve said as he took another drink of the vodka. He turned the bottle in his hands and stared at it.

“Maybe you should honour their lives by being the best you possible,” Natasha said finally. “I know it isn't much but what was done is done. You can no more give their lives back to them than I can give life back to all the people I've killed.”

“I get that. It just doesn't feel right,” Steve said. “None of this does. I should be dead or doddering in some old folks home not still in my twenties.”

She scooted closer to him and placed a hand, awkwardly ,on his leg. She was unused to giving comfort to another human. At least in this manner. Goodness knows she and Agent Barton had comforted each other with their bodies after missions gone wrong. A couple of times it had been her and Agent Coulson. But somehow it didn't seem like that would work with Steve. He seemed to need words and pats on the arm, not sex.

“I've come to the conclusion that things happen for a reason,” Natasha said. “You come to the attention of S.H.I.E.L.D. And your life changes. Often for the better. I'm still a spy and an assassin but the assignments are better. My ledger doesn't have as much red being added to it these days.”

“I get what you're saying,” Steve said. “Live the best life I can because I've gotten a second chance and those that died for the serum don't have. Live to be the best person so that they didn't die in vain but it hurts. It hurts to be here and everyone I knew gone, in one way or another.”

Natasha took the bottle from his hands and set it down on the coffee table. There was so much pain and anguish in the man sitting beside her that she couldn't ignore it. People thought her without feelings. She knew that but she wasn't. She just locked them up tight and buried them so she could do her job. There were times, though, when something or someone touched them and she had to act. She put her arm around his shoulders and leaned into him. Her face inches from his.

“Maybe it is time you met some new people,” She suggested. Then with out really giving him a chance to say anything, she kissed him.


	6. Chapter 6

Steve broke the kiss and asked, “What are you doing?”

“Showing you that you are not alone,” Natasha replied. “That I know what it is like to be alone in a strange country with no one you know or trust.”

“I don’t want you pity,” Steve said as he walked to the window and looked at the view from the twenty fifth floor. He needed some distance or his body would betray his mind and heart and take her offer without saying what he needed to say. “Particularly not like that.”

Natasha walked over to him and slipped her arms under his to caress his chest. “Like what, Steven?”

Steve gently removed her hands and stepped to the side before he turned to look at her. “Like that. Sexually. Sex should mean something between two people who have feelings for each other.”

“You had no problem back in Germany,” she said, confused. “Doing it for our cover.”

“Yes, but that is when I found out that it should mean something or it is just a biological urge satisfied,” Steve said. He saw the subtle tightening of her face and hurried on. “I don’t regret it. It was necessary for our cover. To keep us alive. But never again. If we’re in the same situation again, we’ll look into the other options.”

“So you don’t like me,” Natasha said as she turned away from him. “I can live with that. I was trained that feelings are for the weak…”

“It’s not that,” Steve said as he silently cursed his inability to tell women what he felt. “I think you’re a swell girl – woman- lady. Oh never mind.”

Natasha looked back at him and smiled to herself. The capable Captain had devolved into a stammering boy.

“Anyway, the problem is my feelings are involved and yours are not are not. I felt the lack, in your kiss,” Steve said. “I don’t want to be used just for my body.”

Natasha put a hand on his shoulder and made him look at her. “When I said I was taught that feelings are for the weak, I meant it. From the time I can remember the people training me, and I was trained not raised by a family, told me that feelings in others could be used. They taught me how to use them and then taught me how to not have feelings that could be used by others. All I know about love is that it is for children.”

Steve looked at her, horrified. He knew she was ruthless but to hear it had started when she was young, that made him feel sorry for her.

“Don’t look at me like that,” she said when she saw his face. “Since I defected, I’ve learned that some of my training, as a child, was wrong. But I’m never going to believe that, for someone like me, love is a safe emotion to feel.” She reached up her other hand to cup his face. “But for the first time, with you, I saw someone’s emotional pain and wanted to make it better.”

“But with your body?” Steve asked. 

“I was trained to use my body as a weapon and a tool to get what I wanted,” Natasha said. “Believe me, to want to use it as a tool to help, to comfort, is as strange to me as having sex is to you,” She smiled. “Usually it is a tool to hurt and destroy. I seduce the mark to find out what I need to know and if he isn’t dead after, then his world will have collapsed one way or another.”

Steve looked at her and saw the truth of her words in her eyes. He took her hands in his and gently held them.

“So I’m sorry if I offended you with my offer,” Natasha said. “But it was sincerely meant.”

Steve nodded his understanding. But then he ruined the moment with a jaw cracking yawn. ‘I’m sorry. I guess the last few days have just caught up with me.”

Natasha laughed. “Jet lag, the strain of the cover, and all that energy expended punching the punching bag will do that.”   
She tugged one hand from his and he let it go. The other she curled around his and she pulled him towards the bedroom.

“Natasha,” he started.

“Relax, Steve,” She said. “I’m not going to jump you. “ He looked at her like he didn’t understand. “I’m tired too and I don’t think this conversation is done. I’m not about to let you leave and never come back to it, so we’re going to have a little nap before continuing. You can sleep beside me right?’

“I’ve done it before,” he smiled. “I think I can do it again. But just sleep, nothing else.”

“Agreed,” she said as she opened her bedroom door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I thought I'd be able to wrap this up this chapter but I guess not. So there will be another chapter sometime next week and then the sequel story.


	7. Chapter 7

It was in the wee small hours of the night when Steve woke. He hadn’t had a nightmare exactly, just some of his war memories playing out in his sleep, so he was loathe to go back to dreamland. He started to move but then he realized he was covered in a warm feminine body. Natasha has sprawled on top of him in her sleep. He stilled, not want to wake her but wanting to enjoy the feeling. It was rare that people touched him more than they had to and women, in particular, had never really done so. Before the serum they hadn’t wanted to and afterwards there hadn’t been much time. Sure, some of the ladies on the War Bonds/USO tour had made their interest clear but he’d only had thoughts of Peggy. Now here was Agent Natasha Romanov using him as a pillow and he was going to enjoy every second of it. If he could only figure out where to put his hands.

Natasha woke but didn’t move until she figured out where she was. It was safer to pretend to sleep than move prematurely into danger. She listened and only heard the steady beat of another person’s heart under her head. She felt the hard muscles of the stomach under her hand and another harder ridge under one of her thighs. So she was laying on top of a man. She felt the slight fluttering of someone unsure of what to do with their hands at her back. There was only one person that could belong to – Steve. But they had finished their assignment yesterday. These thoughts only took a fraction of a second to flit through her mind and she opened her eyes and looked up to meet Steve’s impossibly blue eyes.

“Morning,” she smiled as she scooted a few inches away from him.

“Uh. I think it’s like three or something,” Steve muttered.

“That’s still morning,” she laughed.

“I guess it is,” Steve smiled. Natasha looked at that smile and knew all her previous thoughts about how that smile would get her into trouble were truer than ever.

Natasha sits up more fully and looks over at Steve. “You read to resume our conversation?”

Steve sits up and looks at her. “I thought we had made our points pretty clear. I won’t have sex with you without feelings, on both sides, and you don’t have feelings.” He bends over the edge of the bed and finds his tee shirt.

“It’s that I’m not sure I’m capable of having them,” Natasha said, quietly as she reached a hand out to touch him by stopped just shy of actually making contact. “I feel like I want to but can’t.”

“That’s a start,” Steve said. He turned to look at her and took her hand in both of his. “That is if you want it to be…”

“I think I would like that,” she said as she cupped her other hand around his face. She leaned over and kissed him. This time she let her training go and put what little of herself she had into the kiss. Steve responded and unwrapped his hand from around hers and reached up to touch her face as well.

“That is a good start,” Steve said as he pulled back. “Want to see where this might go?”

“I think I’d like that,” Natasha said shyly.

Steve yawned. It was still three in the morning and while he didn’t sleep late that was early even for him. “Now that we’ve finished the conversation, think we can get a couple more hours of sleep before…”

“Before what?” Natasha teased as she leaned over and let her lips hover inches from his.

Steve gulped. “Before we explore just what we have started?”

Natasha smiled and settled down under the covers. “Sounds like a plan.”

“I am the star spangled man with a plan,” Steve said as he settled next to her and fell back to sleep.

They secretly explored what they had started, no need to let S.H.I.E.L.D. run their whole lives, for a couple months. Then Natasha was sent to Russia on a mission and the world changed. But that is another story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that is the end of this story but I've begun the first chapter of the sequel. Thanks for reading.


End file.
